Monday, January 31, 2011

Spiritual Markers

This blog entry is going to be a little different. I know the name of our blog is Finding Martin, but I think it’s okay if it’s not all about him. Not to mention, sadly, we have no updates on our adoption process right now. We tried yet another new church Sunday in hopes of finding “the one”. I think this is the 5th or 6th church in a year. I think however, this might be it. I know I have said this before, but really this time! The atmosphere was great, the music was really good, it was a diverse group of people, and I liked the message. I am also big on “signs”. If this next part isn’t a sign then I don’t know what is. The first part of the hour was spent on adoption, supporting adoption, and the pastor was even wearing a T-shirt he bought from a family in his congregation raising money to adopt 3 children. They even have a small group supporting parents or soon to be parents adopting or becoming a foster parents! I couldn’t believe it. Needless to say, we are going back next week to look into that group a little more.

The main message was about using spiritual markers to mark your faith. For example, he had a bible that was given to him by his neighbor. This neighbor was the man responsible for getting him involved in a church at a young age when his own parents had nothing to do with the church. He has that bible some 20 years later. He doesn’t use it, but keeps it in a special place and pulls it out from time to time just to remind him where he came from and who he is today. I got to thinking about how I didn’t have any markers, none that I could think of anyway. None that I could put in a box in a special place to pull out and look at from time to time like he did. That got me started thinking of how my faith began in the first place. I always went to church when I was younger. My mom attended therefore I did as well. I went just to go, never getting anything from it or giving anything in return. It was a check in the box. Then I grew up, went to college for a bit, joined the Marine Corps for a bit, and then I met Charlie. He had pretty much the same background. Went to church when he was younger only because parents made him. Most people know our story…if not…I’ll save that for another time…but we got married and VERY soon after decided to have a baby! Everyone does know this story. Our baby was born with Down syndrome. As scary and new as that was, it was nothing compared to the laundry list of health issues many people with DS face. The first and foremost was his heart. Thankfully, there was not an issue that had to be dealt with immediately but eventually the day came and we found ourselves in Boston at Children’s Hospital Boston. They are the number one children’s hospital when dealing with pediatric cardiothoracic surgeries. Thank you Tricare Prime for letting us pick the surgeon. Of course, I won’t go into the process, thoughts, feelings, beer drinking and nightmares leading up to the day of his pre-surgery appointment. Any of you with kids can most likely imagine. The night before the pre-surgery Charlie and I needed a little break. So we left 10 month old Haiden with my mom and went on a walk. Holding hands and trying to keep
our faith we jokingly said to one another “maybe we’ll get there tomorrow and they will tell us he won’t need surgery”. We got up early the next morning however, and spent all day long watching him get poked and prodded. We sat through shots, blood draws, chest xrays, sedations, waking up too early from sedations, and more sedations, EKGs, and on and on and on. Finally, we were waiting in yet another room in the evening waiting to talk to the cardiologist. He walked into the room full of extremely tired parents, and a easy going little baby boy He looked at us and said “Haiden doesn’t need surgery. We can’t explain it, his heart has all but healed itself”! I can explain it. God is amazing, and forgiving, and understand, and patient and loving! He listens if you talk loud enough and from then on my faith in Him has been alive! I realized that I had 2 spiritual markers. Boston and Haiden! They are my markers and responsible for my new refreshed relationship with Jesus Christ and faith.

I have also realized since Sunday that I have 2 more markers. Again, nothing I can put away under my bed or at the top of my closet to pull out and remind me in case I forget. I get to see marker number 2 all day every day! Marker number 2 is Noah
Joseph House. My baby boy born even after I swore there would be only Haiden! As some can imagine after Haiden was born with DS, Charlie and I struggled with knowing what to do about more children. Should we, shouldn’t we, what if this baby was born with DS, what if this baby was born with another disability. Don’t get me wrong, we would love whoever was given to us. At the time though, sometimes people can’t see past certain fears. Charlie and I were scared for ourselves, Haiden, and scared for this new little baby that we were trying to decide if we should even try to have. After months of talking, and praying,crying, and talking some more…we grabbed each other’s hands, closed our eyes, and jumped! Through faith, we now have son number 2! Healthy, happy, so beautiful, and spiritual marker number 2!

My third marker and last so far at this point in my life would be Martin. Not even knowing his real name or where he is, I know that bringing him into our family is what God wants Charlie and I to do. I am as sure of this as I am sure of my love for my boys…all of them…Charlie, Haiden, Noah, and Martin. Any of our faithful followers of our blog know the story of how we came across Martin. We found his picture on Reeces’s Rainbow and fell in love right from the beginning. I have never had a doubt in my mind since I saw him that he was ours. I was just telling a new friend of mine this morning, I have doubts about EVERYTHING in my life. Am I raising my boys right, am I going to choose the right speech therapist for Haiden, am I feeding Noah the right amount of food for his age, should I have bought whole wheat bread instead of whole grain??? I have NEVER since the adoption process started for us questioned a single thing. I have no idea what medical issues face us when we get him home. I have no idea what kind of place he is in or how he as been treated. I don’t even know his name. The scariest thing is…we have no idea how we are going to get the $33 thousand that this is going to cost in order for us to get him home. The only sleep I have lost is because I want him home sooner. This tells me God lead us to him. He is ours and it is as simple as that. No questions asked. He called and we answered blindly and faithfully! Martin(2H) you are my spiritual marker number 3!


  1. Thanks for sharing. I really do hope you have found a church you can call home. And am praying for yours and Martin's journey. Blessings.

  2. Wonderful post and I hope ya'll have found a great church for your family. It's kind of funny, I believe our church had a sermon about adoption (i'm not sure of the details) the sun before last. We missed it b/c of Anna being sick, but i was looking forward to hearing the sermon. If you need to check out another church, if your willing to drive, there is a great one here in Fredericksburg. There are a few Marine families that live on Quantico that attend as well. It's called Grace Church of God. We just kinda jumped in, kinda same background as ya'll. We've even joined a Lifegroup at the church. I'm so glad that you have found these markers and these special moments and reasons to go forth. We hope the best for you and your family.