Tuesday, August 9, 2011

Officially Exhausted...

I have had it. I can honestly say that I am officially exhausted from this adoption! It has been almost a year. I know, I know, there are so many people that have been at it for well over that amount of time, but I'm still tired. I am physically and emotionally exhausted! Just when I feel like we are maybe getting close to the end...we get pushed back. We are still trying to get together the remaining documents for our dossier. It's not going so well. Why in the world can't 1 thing just go right?!

We are waiting on our fingerprints from the FBI. They called last week saying they tried to run my credit card and it was coming back telling them that it was invalid! Makes no sense, seeing as they had just swiped it and used to charge Charlie's prints! I keep checking my account and my credit card was charged for the prints as well as FedEx...so where in the world are they!!!? We are also waiting on a letter from our mortgage company that was PROMISED would be done in 5 to 7 days or something like that. Why do I keep falling for that? Next, the part that I honestly thought was going to be the easiest of them all, are the physicals. They military keeps changing our FREAKING doctors and every time they do that, the new one wants to meet us. Not to mention that getting an appointment within the year is impossible lately. Between all of us, we have 4 different doctors. SOMEONE JUST SIGN THESE @#$%^^& PHYSICALS ALREADY!!! Let me see, I think that is it.

I feel so defeated thinking of waiting on these fricking people while my baby sits in that institution literally rotting away. Each day he is there, he loses any skills he has and not to mention more and more weight! A 5 year old that weighs 20lbs is killing me. I swore we would have him home by his birthday, but that came and went. Next I vowed he would be home by my birthday, but that day is right around the corner and we still don't even have our court dossier in yet. Day after day passes and I have one anxiety filled dream after another. Last night I had a dream that we got there to pick him up and we had nowhere to stay. All the hotels were closed and nobody would take us in! I really think that I am going to have a heart attack due to anxiety.

Sorry this is so negative, but I need to vent somewhere and this seemed like a good place since I usually get encouraging words from everyone that follows this blog. Thank you for reading and listening. Hopefully next time I post something, it will be positive!


  1. I hear every heartbreaking word, friend. I feel each drop of pain in every sentence. Melissa, you are not alone, when you rejoice, we are right there with you, and when you struggle, well, that is when we carry you. Carrying you, sweet friend, lifting you up to our Lord in Heaven, praying you will have your sweet boy in your arms very, very soon. Love you much.

  2. Bless you and I'm sorry things are taking so long for you. This is the most discouraging part of adoption, waiting....., waiting on others who don't get it or don't care. You are in my prayers!

  3. Melissa, it makes me sad knowing that you are being put through so much just to give this handsome boy a loving caring family! I wish others would understand and want to be a bit more helpful. I pray that this awesome little boy gets to come home to his loving family soon! Take care House family and keep your head up Melissa!

  4. I can't even come close to imagining the pain and frustration you and charlie are going through right now, but i wanted to tell ya'll that we are praying for ya'll and for dmitri. Have you considered switching to a civilian dr? I know it's a ways, but i highly recommend the dr my kids go to. not sure if she is accepting new patients, but i can check if you'd like. We've never had a problem getting an appt or getting any paperwork done. You will ALWAYS see Dr. Callahan unless she's out sick or something, and then Dr Noori is the other dr and is good too. hugs to you all!

  5. Just wanted to send a note of love and prayers coming your way. The obstacles are Satans way of trying to discourage you...and I KNOW you won't let that happen. Paul needs you to stay strong and keep positive. HE IS YOUR SON and I can only imagine the anxiety knowing how he is living..and knowing what your loving home has in store for him. Lifting you all up in prayer!!

  6. Just know you have so many people who are praying for you and loving you through this process.